Friday, February 29, 2008
Dub-I put this way firts mommy!
Me- Put what away first Dub?
Dub-I put this shake shake way firts!
Me thinking to myself- Shake shake? What the heck is he talking about?
I walk into the kitchen and he is jumping up and down, shaking the sprinkles bottle with the lid off, sprinkles flying everywhere and singing..."shake, shake yo moccas!"
Me- What are you doing?!
Dub- I shake my moccas
Me-No, No you are not shaking your moraccas! You are shaking sprinkles all over the floor! Go lay down so I can put your diaper and jammies on NOW!
Dub-I frow this way firts mommy, is all gone!
Me- Ya think! Irrrr!
Good News is ...my house smells like spice cake again. Bad News...I have a toddler with an obvious fascination for the pantry!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I LOVE to go grocery shopping, ALONE! I like to stroll up and down the isles and look at all the different foods, compare prices, enjoy not being hung all over, enjoy not hearing "mommmmm!" every two minutes, smile a knowing smile at the poor lady who's kid is throwing a major tantrum in the cereal isle. Grocery time is my time. When I have to take a kid, or heaven help me more than one kid, to the store with me it totally ruins it for me. I then, have to be the poor lady who is getting the knowing smile from other alone mothers. Today was not much different. Vootz is old enough to know better than to throw a tantrum but he still pulls things off the shelf and begs for them, still walks around unaware and backwards and is on and off the cart making it impossible to push straight. He tries very hard to be helpful to me and bag the groceries, but I am very anal about how I bag my groceries, so that just makes me frustrated. Then I had to try to fit all my groceries, my son and myself in the front of the truck with out smashing any smashables. Anyway long story short, by the time we got home I was just plain tired! Too tired for what transpires next.
When I walked through the front door I see the child, who was suppose to be napping, has snuck out of his bed and helped himself to something, though at the time I wasn't quite sure what it was. I get a little closer and he says all sweet, innocent and proud of himself...
"I'n habbing cake mommy."
Oh Crap! He has gotten into the pantry, pulled down a box of spice cake mix that I was going to use to make these cookies, he has opened the box and put it goodness knows where and opened the bag right down the center. Now here he sits in a pile of cake mix on my carpeted dining room (What kind of crazy
Now I notice that Rub is nekked, as usual.
Me- "Rub, why are you nekked?"
Rub-"My cwoves was making me hot and fwetty so I frowed em in the waundry!"
Me-"Fine, but at least put your underwear on! We don't walk around nekked!"
And do you think his clothes were in the laundry? No, no they weren't. They were in the bathroom trash can! Which seems to be mistaken for the laundry basket and the laundry basket for the trash can by both Dub and Rub on a regular basis.
I am feeling the grey hair sprout out of my head and my little crease in my forehead is quickly becoming a canyon! Good news though, I vacuumed the rest of my house and now it smells like spice cake and I did not even have to bake anything. Bad news, the smell is making me REALLY hungry and I have No spice cake mix to bake with!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I put the two younger boys down for naps with JC and loaded up the two older boys. I did not tell them where we were going or what we would be doing. They tried their hardest to guess but had no clue what
Once we were laced up, I stood up and skated over to put the shoes away. (I may not be able to rollerblade but I CAN skate). Seeing how easily and gracefully mommy can skate gave them a false sense of confidence. I could almost see the wheels turning in their little heads. I could see them thinking, look how easy it is, if mommy can do it anyone can. LOL! They both stood up and immediately fell down!
We had some nachos and an icee and headed home. This morning, their arms were so sore from holding themselves up and their legs and bums were so sore from falling down, that I had to help them out of their jammies. They were both begging and pleading for Motrin and to get to stay in jammies and lay around all day. Mommy is not that nice. Everyone was up, dressed in Sunday best and off to church by 8:30.
I took three Motrin myself when I woke up because my abs were so sore. Sore from laughing so hard. This afternoon they asked when we could go again? So, they must have had some fun, either that or they already forgot how sore they were this morning. Either way it will be fun to go again, maybe next time we will take JC, he could use a good laugh!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
"Mom, we shouldn't eat trash, that would be yucky! We shouldn't eat dirt either, or mud that would be really yucky. We shouldn't eat Jesus Christ either because he's in charge of the church."
Gotta love the thought process of a four year old.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I decided to be a little active over the weekend. The weather was nice and the boys have been a little stir crazy so I thought we would go out front and they could ride their bikes and I would rollerblade with them. Note to self: a week in blades eight years ago doesn't a rollerblader make! As I was sitting in the garage putting the blades on Buzz says to me, in a tone that clearly says he is unsure mom has the ability to be doing this...
"Mom you're going to ride those?"
Me-"yes, I am"
Buzz-"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Me-"why? You don't think I can rollerblade?"
Buzz-"I don't know, can you? I am going to go get Vootz."
A few minutes later he returns with Vootz.
Buzz-" See, I told you. Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Me-"I thought it was but I am starting to wonder now, thanks for the vote of confidence!"
Vootz-"Relax Buzz, Mom has had those rollerblades for like 39 years!"
Me-*choking* "39 years? Just how old do you think I am?"
They start walking off, talking to each other...
Buzz- "She thinks she is still young. She's gonna hurt herself, and Dad is gonna have to scrape her off the street, and he won't be happy about that."
Vootz-"But maybe we'll get McDonalds for dinner if she gets hurt bad and can't cook."
*feeling the love*
It takes me a few minutes, but I get to a standing position and realize, to get to the street I have to go down the driveway. I cling to the side of JC's truck and side step down until I run out of truck to hold on to. Standing there trying to figure out my next move Buzz returns, "see, I told you that wasn't a good idea." Good thing for that boy that mommy
I did finally make it unscathed to the street
BTW- Rollerblading uses muscles you never knew you had!
Monday, February 18, 2008
I thought I was doing good until, and here is where it gets shady...I noticed that when I would pour JC a glass of Dr. Pepper, some how before I could get it from the kitchen to the office, I would have to go back and refill it
Oh, and yes, I started W.W. again because I am an addict! I am addicted to food, I am addicted to sugary 1%juice waters with vitamins, I am addicted to frozen waffles, I am addicted to cinnamon bears, Sour Patch Kids, Yorks and Milk Duds, chocolate donutettes and sausage MrGriddles. And being addicted to those things has the fat cells addicted to my bum, and they are breeding and multiplying folks! It's not good. 1 pound down
Thursday, February 14, 2008
"It is Wednesday, the 13th."
"Oh, it's not the 14th?"
"No, thank you for thinking of me though."
Just because I know you are all wondering...
I got beautiful, red roses! He scored extra points by picking up the 5 y/o from school (all hyped up on sugar from his Valentines Day party) and taking him to lunch! And scored even more when he bought chocolate hearts for each of the boys, what a Great Dad! And his present from me was the ridiculously expensive new graphics card he bought for his computer while out with the sugar high 5 y/o and the new game he bought while he was out yesterday,
I also gave him a card with a pack of Big Red in it. 'Cause he is "HOT!" And 'cause I "chews" him. Because I am corny like that. And I made him dinner, not that I don't
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Taste Buds to be played by Badself
Stomach to be played by Goodself/Common Sense
Do you see where we are going here?
So, incase you hadn't already figured out, I am a light weight. Not literally, I carry more chub than I should, but when it comes to medications it doesn't take much to make me "out of it" or very "hung over feeling". Which are not feelings that I am particularly fond of. After more than fourty-eight hours of being under the influence of very strong prescription medications, and unable to eat due to the "hung over" feeling...
Taste Buds- "Its been fourty-eight hours! You are a compulsive eater, You don't go fourty-eight minutes without food! And it's been TWO DAYS since we've tasted anything except chlorinated water and cough syrup that tastes like rubbing alcohol. We need FOOOOD!"
Stomach-I agree, it is time to eat something. Maybe some French Onion Soup from Mimi's. That sounds good and easy to stomach.
Taste Buds- Soup? Are you joking? No! No! No! Italian! Cheesey, garlic breadsticks and chicken fettucini alfredo from Joseph's and a large diet pepsi, we need pepsi.
Stomach- not on your life, I'll never be able to keep that down. Maybe some minestrone soup, plain bread sticks and herbal tea.
Taste Buds- No, wait! Mexican! Chips and hot salsa with guacamole, wet chilie verde burrito from Mauricios and the diet pepsi. MMM! That's it! That's what I want and I won't settle for anything less. I will crave that until I get it, making us miserable.
Stomach-Oh, we'll be miserable alright. Anyway, you strike it I lose.
You all know what it is like to have an unsatisfied craving don't you? It eats at you. It is constantly on your mind. You dream about it, you smell it, this sentence is making me sound like a weirdo! Anyway, I decide to skip a dose of cough meds, so my stomach will settle enough to eat something. I decided that Mauricio's
Long story not so short, I ate some chips and salsa and two diet pepsis, took two bites of my burrito and was
The left overs are calling.....
Yes, yes I did! What part of compulsive eater did you not understand?
Friday, February 8, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Badself-"Why are you stopping, just keep right on going, its gonna turn green anyway."
Goodself-"If I did that, it would be the one time it did not turn green and there would sit a pen happy cop, all poised and ready to give me a ticket! And we'd probably fail the sobriety test because that was some dang strong prescription cough syrup that you took, that the Dr. ordered for
So I keep obeying the law, and I keep slowing to my rolling stop. By the time I get to the last signal before home, I am cold and tired and it is raining and it is One O'clock in the stinkin' morning. I am pissin' and moanin'
Badself -"THERE IS NO ONE AROUND!"
I come to a complete stop and I wait... and I wait... and I wait some more. Badself starts to think, I am just going to go, I can see in all directions it is clear...no other idiots about. Just then the light turns green and a cop pulls up past me.
Goodself-"See...you see what trouble you almost get us into?"
What luck. Moncur Luck. I never had these issues before I changed my name. The stars were always aligned for me before I got married. I
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
What do you think? It's even red, the color of love. I will get his undying love and affection and clean floors! Maybe I should put my irrigation boots on now, it's getting deep in here.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
It is now midnight, time for the next trip to the bathroom. Feel around..Dang It! Wake up precious and make him walk himself to the bathroom, making a stop at the laundry basket to strip off pee soaked clothes and deposit wet sheets. Stand nekked son in front of tub while we wait for the water to warm up. Nekked son is leaning heavily against my leg....is he really awake? Warm, wet feet????
Me- What the heck!!! What are you doing? Stop that! Wake up! Hey...gosh dig it!
Son- "What??? oh, sorry mom."
Put son in shower and instruct him to bathe. Take off socks, wash my feet. Mop bathroom floor. Check on son. He is curled up in fetal position on the shower floor....asleep again. Wake up son, pull him out of shower and instruct him to dry off. Go get clean jammies and return to find son curled up in fetal position on the hall floor, asleep. Dress son and return him to his bed.
Son- mom I didn't even pee at all last night! I did good huh?
Me- say whaaaat? I need a diet pepsi!
Tell me, how does a kid take TWO showers and not remember taking them? It must be nice to be able to sleep through anything.
On a side note, I got to go to the movies today with a friend, alone, with no kids, and no husband! I have not done that in ummmm....like 10 years! Yes, I said 10 years! Thank you Angela! I had a blast.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Now onto the chaos I call life. A typical day in our house is LOUD (also something that comes from Jc's family), full of love, tears, giggles and lots of chaos. The best way to give you insight on our home is to give you some phrases you will hear me say most commonly at our house. So here goes.
Get to the bathroom before you pee on my floor!
I love you too! Now get in the bathroom!
Please pay attention while you are peeing so you don't pee on the floor!
Why did you pee on the floor?
Yes, I love you too!
(do you see a pattern here? Yes, I am potty training a 2 y/o so this is a big topic in our house)
Dub you may not eat candy for lunch! No popcorn is not lunch either!
No amount of kisses is going to get you that roll of smarties before you eat your lunch!
Get out of the pantry! Get out off the back of the couch! Don't rock your chair! Get out of the fridge/freezer ( and I don't mean just shut the door, I mean they need to physically get their body out of the freezer!)
Get off the counter!
I love you too! Now get down!
Why are you nekked? (frequently asked question of Rub)
Get back in the house, you're nekked! The nieghbors don't need to see your nekkedness!
I'm sorry I am not your Boo anymore but we don't go out front nekked! Now get your clothes on!
Is your homework done? Neatly? All of it? Then sit down!
Vootz mind Vootz!
Buzz 4 bananas is enough! No you can't have another orange dinner will be ready in five minutes!
Vootz eat your peas!
Buzz drink your milk!
Rubby get your fingers out of your dipitz! Dipitz are for chicken fingers, not for your fingers!
Dub eat your own dinner and leave your dad's alone!
Everyone to the shower! Don't pee in the shower, your brothers don't want to stand in your pee!
Brush your teeth please. With toothpaste!
No you can't have a snack, we just finished dinner!
Honey, I just told them no snacks!
They've already brushed their teeth and they don't need brownies anyway because I said no dessert unless they ate all their dinner!
You're such a softy!
Say your prayers!
Love you all lots and lots!
Go to sleep!
Get in your own beds!
You already had a drink get back in bed!
There are no monsters in this house, they are all too afraid of Dad to come in here! Now get back to bed!
No, you may not sleep in the office!
You may not sleep in the hallway either!
Go to sleep!
No Buzz Mommy is not mad at you. Yes Buzz, Mommy still loves you! She's just not happy that it is an hour past your bedtime and you are still up, and your room that was clean when I put you to bed, now looks like a battlezone! Boys if I step on any of those soldiers tonight they'll be battling the trash can! Go to sleep please!
If I hear one more word out of you two I am going to send in your dad!
Those are my most frequent phrases. Hope you had a good laugh while you sit there with your sweet daughters all dressed in pink! Just remember someday they might marry a M! LOL!
Here's how you play
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts habits, or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to read your blog. You can't tag the person that tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers.
1. I always have my toenails painted
2. I have to pop every poppable joint before I can sleep at night (gross I know)
3. I have to sleep with the tv on when Jaron is not home
4. I am VERY afraid of heights and therefore HATE to fly
5. I can't submerge my face in water, it freaks me out
6. I hate to drive, love to be the passenger
7. I have never found a perfume I like on me
8. I love to have my extremeties massaged more than my back
9. I don't like chocolate in candy form
10. I am allergic to the artificial lights in tanning beds
Okay, now that everyone knows I am a weirdo, I tag:
- Holly-because she rocks and she is the only other person who currently has a blog that I am alowed to tag.
- Casey-because she needs a blog
- Jerene-because this is motivation for her to start her blog and quit procrastinating.
And I don't know of anyone else who has a blog or would consider starting one so I cop out with 3 people sorry.