Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Double Uana Jones

Dub has a black felt cowboy hat. He wears his hat ALL the time. He puts it on when he wakes up in the morning, before he even gets out of his bed. He also has a cloth belt he calls a "whoop". He carries it WHERE EVER he goes. These two items accompany him to breakfast where the first disagreement of the day begins. It goes something like this...

Me- Dub, do you want some cereal?
Dub- No. Just an otter pop.
Me- No. Do you want some toast?
Dub- No. Just some snacky snacks.
Me- No. Do you want some oatmeal?
Dub- No. I just want some nemanims.
Me- No. You may not have an otter pop. You may not have fruit snacks. You may not have M&M's. Pick something good for you.
Dub- How 'bout...hmmm. *tapping his finger against his bottom lip* I know! Whatta 'bout Cheetos!
Me- No! Go sit down and I will get you some toast.
Dub- I don't want toast. How 'bout some junk food?
Me- How 'bout not.
Dub- but...
Me- No! Toast or cereal?
Dub- How 'bout 'nolla.
Me- Fine granola. Take off your hat and sit down.
Dub- Nooooo. I'ne Innianna Jones!
Me- No. Not at the table you are not. Take off the hat. Put down the whip. Eat your breakfast.
*drops the whip*
Me- The hat too Dub.
Dub- I'ne not Dub! I'ne Innianna Jones!
Me- That's one, That's two,
Dub- All right, All right. I'll be Dub.

As soon as he climbs down from his chair he declares, "When my hat and whip are down, I am Dub. But when I grab them up like this and put my hat on, I am INNIANNA JONES! Duh duh duh duhhhh duh duh duh...."

He wears his black felt hat to play outside. It has been 115 degrees. He wears his hat to the swimming pool. He wears his hat to run errands, which starts another disagreement.

Me- Dub, why don't you leave your hat and whip in the car?
Dub- 'Cause I'ne INNIANNA JONES! Duh Duh...
Me- Okay, okay. But you must take off your hat when we are inside and carry it in your hand.
Dub- Ok.
*get to the door of the bank.*
Me- Dub take off your hat please.
Dub- No thank you.
Dub- Okay. I'll be Dub again.

He tries to wear it to the bath. He tries to wear it to church. He DOES wear it to bed. He not only wears his hat and carries his whip every where we go but he sings the Indiana Jones theme music ALL THE TIME!

Today he is wearing batman pajama top complete with a cape, shorts he threw a tantrum about having to wear because he insists that they are ripped because they have slits where the tie comes out at the waist(This is why he is still wearing a pj top...I was too tired to argue over shirts after twenty minutes of discussing why his pants are just fine.), Lightening McQueen rain boots, blue and green swim goggles, his hat and his whip.

Now tomorrow his personality will change. He will HAVE to match! He will want to wear his navy blue Chaps shorts with his brown Chaps polo shirt that has the navy blue Chaps design and his brown flip flops, not his black ones, because his brown ones match his shirt, that match his pants...you get the idea. BUT along with this very preppy outfit he will be wearing his black felt cowboy hat and carrying his "whoop".

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Name Game

When I picked Rub up from summer school one day last week...

Dub- Hey Rub did you learn the letter R today?

Mrs. Hutchins- Wow! You are smart. You must be Jake's brother. You know when we talked about he letter R today, Jake said you had two R's in your name. Is your name Robert?

Dub- No. I'ne not Robert, I'ne Dub! I got two R's too. W-A-R-R-E-N!

Mrs. Hutchins to me- Yes, we've had some confusion about that today.

She told me this conversation...

Mrs. Hutchins- Jake how many brothers and sisters do you have?

Rub- 3

Mrs. Hutchins- What are their names?

Rub- Robert, Buzz, and Double U's.

Mrs Hutchins- Double U's?

Rub- Yep.

Mrs. Hutchins- Is that short for something?

Rub- No, just Double U's.

Mrs.Hutchins- You just walk up to him and say "Hey Double U's"?

Rub- Yes *getting impatient*

Mrs. Hutchins- Really? Just Double U's, you don't call him anything else?

Rub- Yeah, we call him Dub.

Mrs. Hutchins- *probably thinking we are lunatics* What else do you call him?

Rub- Dubby

Mrs. Hutchins- So you call him Double U's, Dubby or Dub?

Rub- Uh-huh.

Mrs. Hutchins- Is that his real name?


Mrs. Hutchins- Is there any other name you call him?

Rub- Well, when he's in trouble mom calls him, WARREN DOUGLAS MONCUR!

Mrs. Hutchins- Oh, so Double U's is his Nick name.

Rub- Sure, can I go play now?

Me- Yeah, sorry. It does get pretty confusing sometimes for people who don't know. Oh, and just to avoid any more confusion, Buzz is not a real name either, it's Michael.

Mrs. Hutchins- Oh, that's good to know you psycho crazy lady.

Me- Yeah, okay see you tomorrow. Bye.


When Buzz was in summer school before kindergarten he switched back and forth between Buzz and Michael on all his school work, which confused the teacher for the first week. Then when kindergarten started in the fall she sat down with him and made him choose which one he was going to use and that is the only name he was allowed to put on his work. He chose Michael, but still came home with quite a few papers with Buzz written across the top.

I always said I would only use the boys nick names on the blog, but it is getting confusing for some so I will give you a name key. This one time only, pay attention, write it down. Are you ready?

Vootz = Robert (9) Sometimes Avootzky, Rovoot, Avootz...but mostly just Robert. Came about because when Buzz was little he could not say Robert and it sounded like Avoot. Use to be Bummper Dude, shortened to be Bumper but that name was retired with the death of my FIL who gave it to him (That story is too long for today). His name was Buppa Dude which came from Robert trying to say Bumper Dude back to my FIL.

Buzz = Michael (7)Sometimes Buzzy, or Buzzer. Given to him by his dad because when he was born he had NO hair and then when he finally got hair it was pure white and wispy thin. Looked like he had a buzz cut. Also has been called Bulimic Buzz because he has horrible reflux and when he was a baby he projectile vomited anything that went down, with in ten minutes it was across the room. After getting medicine for that he went back to just being Buzz.

Rub = Jacob (5)Sometimes Rubby, Jaker the Breaker or Boo. Rub because Buzz could not say Jacob, he said Pupub which worked it's way to Rubbub to Rub. Jaker the Breaker because he is a little destroyer. Boo is my name for him, shortened from Snugly Bugly Boo because he is the snugliest little kid you will ever find. (Yes, I realize he will hate me for his when he is a teenager.) I am sorry Boo, but I hope you are just as snugly sweet when you are all grown up.

Dub = Warren (4) sometimes, Double U, Double U's, Dubbers, Dubby or WD. Jc started calling him WD and it got shortened to various forms of the name from there.

Got it? Good. Don't tell anyone. And if anyone asks, you didn't hear it from me.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Flip That Switch

Dub- Oh No! Mom look at my paaannnts. *worried*

Me- That's ok dub they're suppose to be like that.

Dub- Nooooo. I don't like them like that. They are broken, they are suppose to be like this. *pulls them together at the slit.*

Me- Nope, sorry they are suppose to have a little slit in them.

Dub- Mom. You are wrong. All Wrong! And these stupid shorts are broken. I don't want them anymore. Throw them away. *angry*

Me- Dub, don't say stupid that is not nice. I am not wrong and you are not throwing away your shorts. Go play.

Dub- Okay. Can I have an Otter Pop? I only had two and I need to have five. *sweet*

Me- Sure, but just one more.

Dub- YES!! *Excited*

I am slightly concerned about this childs ability to flip flop. I bet he turns out to be a politician.

Spider Woman, Spider Woman, Does Whatever A Spider Can...

Yesterday went like this...

5 AM get up make breakfast and lunch for JC

Send JC off to work

Go Back to bed to think of ways to avoid the "TO DO LIST"

Have a Dr. Pepper (fully loaded)while checking FB.

Clean Kitchen after the boys made their own breakfast.

Destroy kitchen making apricot jam, apple butter, bread and cookies.

Send Dub to his room for "junk food" tantrum

Sneak a few bites of Breyers Mint Chip

Clean kitchen

Break up a fight between Buzz and Vootz

Sneak more ice cream

Destroy kitchen making lunch

Send Dub to room for "junk food" tantrum.

Clean up kitchen

Break up fight between Rub and Buzz

More ice cream

Tackle the 4 foot tall weed jungle in the back yard, we needed to find the dog.

Get pelted with gravel while using weed eater.

Get flicked with dog poo while using the weed eater

Have gnats fly up my nose

Find a patch of goat heads with my finger tips

Find a patch of goat heads with entire hand

Find Toad with hand

QUIT! Never to return to back yard again until toads hibernate.

Send Buzz to room for tantrum.

Take off irrigation boots to find very hurting, purplish-black toe. Radioactive Spider perhaps?

Shower off dog poo, mud, blood and weeds from hair and body.

Bandage fingers

Blow gnats from nose

Wonder when the red super hero costume appears? Need to watch that movie again to find out when I get my powers and if they can make dinner appear and the house clean.

More ice cream

Clean bathrooms

Send Dub to room for "junk food" tantrum.

Debate between more ice cream or more soda...Take an extra heart pill and drink three cans of soda.

Decide I really wanted the ice cream and eat some of that too.

Tackle Mt. Laundry

Break up fight between Rub and Vootz


Pop Popcorn for the boys

Send boys to rooms for popcorn fight

Get teased from JC because I packed him a fork instead of a spoon with his breakfast

Think of ways to torture him that don't leave any evidence...beat him with a phone book? Where are my super powers?

Eat 1/2 a watermelon

Destroy kitchen making dinner

Burn knuckles on the oven rack and "cuss without cussing" ( Freakin', friggin', heck, Cheese and Rice, Git darnit....)

Send Dub to room for "junk food" tantrum

Thinking the spider was not radioactive because I am hurting too much to be a super hero and my house is messier now than when I woke up this morning.

Vacuum up popcorn

Clean kitchen

Send Dub to room for "junk food" tantrum. Really, I don't know where he gets it. *innocent grin*

Bathe kids

Clean bathroom

Get tired of the fighting and tantrums and put kids to bed

Finish off the last of the Breyers Mint Chip ice cream

Go to bed

Remember I need to take boys pee.

Find a wet one, strip off his jammies, take him pee, strip sheets and blankets. Re-jammie and make up bed on floor because he has no more clean bedding because I never quite finished Mt. Laundry from last nights wet bed.

Find wet child #2. Strip off jammies, take him pee, rejammie, go to move a toy and boy gets back into wet bed. Get boy out of wet bed, strip off jammies again, strip off wet sheets, re-jammie, put on clean sheets. Put boy back to bed.

Look at Mt. Laundry, cry.

Go back to bed

Toss and turn

Listen to JC snore

Think about smothering him with a pillow, settle for "accidently" bumping my elbow into his ribs.

Toss and turn

Get mad

Wish I had more ice cream

Toss and Turn

Throw the alarm (cell phone) at the wall

"What the freakin' heck! Already!"

Find cell phone and pray it still works.

Start all over again!