...The Roof The Roof... Is On Fire...Let It Burn!

Yesterday morning I rolled out of bed still half asleep to make breakfast for Vootz. Usually we have cold cereal, toast or oatmeal what ever is easy and fast, but this week they are doing state testing and the school has more than stressed the importance a healthy, well balanced, good breakfast and plenty of sleep. Not only have they stressed it to the parents in the fifty fliers they've been sending home for the last month but they have stressed it to the kids so much that it is all Vootz has talked about for the last month. They have stressed it to the point that Vootz is kinda psyched out about the whole thing. I keep having to remind him it is nothing to stress out about, to relax and just read the questions carefully. Because Vootz has insisted he needs to have a better breakfast this week, I get pleasure of greeting the morning sun thirty minutes earlier than normal to make fresh organic eggs that our chicken laid just minutes before I merrily skipped out to collect them, fruit plucked fresh from our organic orchard, biscuits rolled out by hand, fresh squeezed o.j. again from our organic orchard. Yeah okay so maybe the eggs were purchased from Winco last week and yeah they probably aren't organic or even that fresh for that matter and the fruit and biscuits probably came from a can and well the o.j did too so what, shoot me. My kid got a balanced breakfast and I had to roll my less than cheery bum out of bed way too early to do it and I can't wait until this testing business is over!

I am a night owl and still get woke up at least once a night by at least one child, I am definitely NOT a morning person so this whole thirty minutes earlier business is a big deal to me. I am tired! Yesterday I decided to pop in a movie for the two little ones and sneak in a nap before I had to go get Buzz. Just as my head hit the pillow I hear...beep! Hmmm! Five minutes later...beep! Dang smoke alarm needs new batteries and of course it's not the smoke alarm that is easy to reach if I stand on a chair. No no it has to be the smoke alarm that is on top of the vaulted ceiling! Not only on top of the vaulted ceiling but three feet away from the wall so you have to stand on the ladder leaning against the wall and then lean back three feet. Another obvious design flaw by a man. Think I am going to change that sucker? NO FREAKING WAY! I do not do ladders! I call in JC and he tells me he will bring home the ladder when he comes home. Ummm...ok I have to listen to that annoying beep for the next five hours! Okay Kiwi you can do it. Just pretend it is one of the kids toys. Ignore it, go to that special place, focus, close your....beep, beep ,beep! What the heck! Now It's not just an annoying little reminder beep every five minutes. Now it is all FIVE smoke alarms going off, full force!

Rub- What that noisey? Call da firemens, da houf it burning down!

I make a quick walk through the house, no smoke, no smell. Close all the windows so they neighbors don't call the fire dept. to come out to the house that needs to replace their batteries. Head outside with kids and the phone. Look around the house to make sure no smoke is coming from the eaves. Nope! Call JC...

Me- Umm yeah, how long are you going to be?
JC- Why?
Me- All the smoke alarms are going off and I don't mean chirping, I mean GOING OFF!
JC- What do you want me to do about it?
Me- Get home with the ladder and change the battery would be nice! *trying hard to keep a civil tone!*
JC- I will be there when I get there. I'm busy right now.
Me- Fine *using all the strength I have not to jump through the phone and smack a boy!*

What? What's that, they're off. Silence. Yes! Everyone back inside, finish your lunch, it's nap time.
Call JC back...

Me- Okay they are off.
JC- Fine, I'll be home later.
Me- Fine, bye.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! Dang it! Can a girl catch a break!? Everyone grab your sandwiches and lets go back out side. The stinking smoke alarms went off for twenty minutes then were quiet for ten and they did that until JC got home and changed the battery. I thought the reminder beeps were bad, I will never again complain about a reminder beep. I will however change the battery before it sets off the other four alarms in the house. You ask why one battery sets off all the alarms? They are hard wired together. If one battery needs to be changed that one alarm will beep. But if you heed not it's beeping, it eventually more forcefully tells you to change it, by going off. Because our alarms are wired together, when one alarm goes off it sets off the other alarms too. It is a safety feature. If the fire is in the back room the front room hears it too, allowing plenty of time to escape. Long story short...Can a girl get a nap?! I am so tired! No still no nap yesterday, no nap today. State testing ends Thursday! Then we can go back to cocoa puffs and pop tarts and that thirty extra minutes of sleep! Yippee!

Rub is still disappointed that the firetrucks did not come.