Saturday, April 26, 2008

There's No Place Like Home...part two

Upon arriving at Dad's the boys immediately bale out of the car before I even get it in park, good thing I discussed the "Rules" (i.e. don't play with snakes) and the "Manners" (i.e. shake hands with the men and greet the women) on the way up because they were gone like the wind the moment their feet hit the cow pies (literally, I parked them right over a cow pie, thankfully old and dried)! Dub who can't undo his own buckle yet is yelling "get me outta heeya!" My family greets the kids on the porch with questions of how are ya and how was the drive? Upon seeing an undie clad four year old and the "prop me up in the corner with your most jumbo-ist (yes I realize this is not a word) Diet Pepsi" look on my face they realize the drive was not pleasant.

Let me give you a little pre-drive history. By the time we got on the road, an hour later than planned, I realized I had a headache. I was not about to go back to the house for Motrin so I did the next best thing, went through the drive thru and got an extra large Diet Pepsi! This Diet Pepsi was gone about 20 minutes into the hour long trip. Math lesson:
If Kiwi drinks 64oz of soda in 20 minutes and has 40 minutes left to drive (barring any... oh lets say puke stops!) and a human bladder can hold 16 ounces of fluid. At what rate does the fluid travel through her and is she going to make it before she pees her pants in front of 45 relatives?

My eyeballs are floating at this point, but mom's can't pee until the situation allows for it and obviously a streaking child, a puked on car and car seat and a bag full of pukey clothes, a bunch of relatives to greet and 4 kids to take pee the situation definitely did not allow it at this point. So I bathe and re-dress Rub in the extra clothes I brought, because I am brilliant like that. Rush all 4 kids to the toilet but not before Dub pees his pants. Bathe Dub and re-dress him. Start a load of laundry, scrub a car seat, seat of the car and spray them with Lysol(again, sorry dad and J, hope the smell leaves soon!) Greet all the relatives and add a few things to the "Rules" that I forgot, like don't walk through the field while the men are shooting, please stay on the path so they don't accidentally shoot you. And if you have to cross a fence or cattle guard it means you've gone too far! Now I can finally pee.

The rest of the day was filled with yummy food and crazy shenanigans. My family is wild! The boys played hard. I bathed them at dad's and jammied them up, again because I am MOM hear me ROAR! Number one reason to bathe them before we left, I wanted to leave the mountains in the mountains! I just cleaned my shower and they were DIRTY! Sorry J Number two reason, I knew they would fall asleep on the way home and then I could just put them to bed, and they did. Dub was asleep before we even crossed the cattle guard at the end of the drive way, Rub and Buzz were out about ten minutes down the road. The two little ones stayed asleep when we got home but Buzz woke up and needed to eat, I wonder why? Couldn't be because all he ate all day was Cheetos, strawberries and root beer! When I was a kid I loved tri-tip, beans and french bread and can't imagine anyone not loving that meal but my kids won't touch it, so they dined on all the things Uncle D brought from Frito Lay/Pepsi CO (he works there. The kids think he is the greatest because he brings huge boxes of Cheetos, peanuts and all manor of junk food! We will pick up part three the final installment tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better, I too was a major puker in the car. I used to be sick driving across town. Once on a trip up the canyon, I was sick no less than 30 times before we reached our destination that was only 90 minutes away. I have since gotten better about the yack... not sick-free, but definately better.


karen said...

Well we are back from utah and the first think and pretty much what he did all weekend was to start throwing up in my sisters car on the way home from SLC airport. Not fun.

How is Little red head - melissa?