Heinz, You Know "Ketchup"

Okay, guess what? I have news people! Big, big news! Guess. Three chances. Ready. Set. Go.

No, I am not pregnant! Seriously, why is that always your first thought? Two more guesses.
No, I did not have the will power to stay out of the maple bars this morning, in fact I may have bribed a kid or two out of theirs, but you can't prove it so it didn't really happen. One more guess.
No, Mt. Laundry didn't avalanche down on me...yet.

Are you ready? I remembered my password to get on my blog! Yay me! I didn't forget my password! Confused? It wasn't that I forgot my password that I haven't blogged in so long, it was that I haven't blogged in so long that I didn't know if I would remember my password. But I did, so now I will blog!

First, Dub turned 6! The house was transformed into "The Bat cave" thanks to my sister in law, Aunt Nae. He had a great day preparing his birthday party while I was taking my Life Insurance exam. I can't believe he is already 6! After his party he took down all of his decorations and hung them in his room. For two weeks I could not open the door more than a foot because of the tangled web of streamers. Their room is finally back to normal. I still can't open the door more than a foot because like I said, their room is back to normal, which means there is a mountain of Lego's, action figures, blankets and pillows all over the floor.

School started and everyone is very happy with their teachers. So far everyone is doing great. Vootz and the rest of his sixth grade class spent a week at Camp KEEP and I survived! Buzz had a hard time. He cried every night at bed time and when Vootz came home Buzz wouldn't leave his side.

Vootz got his braces off!!! He is doing a LOT of smiling lately and I LOVE it! He still has one more phase to go but not for a while.

I am working again, hence the reason for the lack of blogging. Or at least that's my story and I am sticking to it. I am LOVING my job and I have a GREAT BOSS! I have been taking a lot of classes and tests, so I have turned into a stressed out, grouchy, basket case been a little tired. If you ever have an insurance need let me know. Even if you don't have a need and just want a really great quote, I can help with that too!

Now for the REALLY BIG news!! JC's last day at the fire department was today! He starts his new job on Monday!! He will be in training for two weeks and then life as we know it changes. We are both going to be very busy!

That's the scoop. Speaking of scoops, I need to tell you about my newest craving! I won't tonight, because I am on the verge of delirious exhaustion, but tomorrow I will tell you all about it!

The Happ's

Where does the time go? Buzz turned 9 the beginning of July. I made cake in a jar for his birthday/4th of July. They turned out super cute and of course I forgot to get pictures. This is the link I got the idea from. I did red and blue cake with white frosting, Americana sprinkles and Americana ribbons. We BBQ'd hot dogs and hamburgers, had macaroni salad, watermelon and root beer. Then we watched the fireworks and called it a night because JC had to work the next day.

I found a lump on the back of my neck at the base of skull that week. I figured it was probably just a swollen gland from fighting allergies or a cold, I had been pretty run down feeling and tired and thought a couple times that I was "catching" some kind of bug. The pain kept getting worse and eventually spread up the back of my skull and became pretty intense. I decided I should go get it checked out. I was diagnosed with mono and told that the reason I had so much pain and pressure in my skull was because all the lymph nodes back there were swollen up and putting pressure on optical and cranial nerves. So for the last month I have been resting A LOT. I did manage to keep up my studies and pass my insurance exam, but haven't managed to do much else.

Dub had his birthday this month. The night before his birthday I overheard him tell his brothers, "Boys, what do you have to tell me tomorrow?" Then he told his dad, "Dad, what do you need to tell me tomorrow when you get home from work?" JC said, "Dub what should you tell me tomorrow when I get home from work? If it weren't for me you wouldn't be having a birthday tomorrow." Dub's reply was, "Daad, mom did all the work." His Aunt Nae came to babysit that day so I could go do my exam. When I came home, they had totally transformed my house into Batman Party Central. He was so excited!

We are still job hunting for JC and have decided that we are going to quit being so stubborn about where we are willing to relocate and instead adopt the attitude, "I will go where you want me to go Dear Lord..." The boys are not on that same page yet. They do NOT want to leave their school under ANY circumstance. We have been very blessed that the school they attend has really wonderful staff that welcomes and encourages family involvement and we have not had any problem with the curriculum being too "dumbed down" or too "liberal". I am worried however that eventually our rather "conservative" staff we have been blessed with will not have a say in what they teach or don't teach. I am aware that moving (or at this point, thanks to our Governor, even not moving) could place us in a school that does not meet our educational standards or our moral standards and so I have been trying to research alternatives to the public education system to prepare myself for the ugly truth that not all school systems are created equal.

I have been trying to organize the chaos around here. It's amazing how much stuff one family can accumulate in six years. I sold a bunch at my mother in law's yard sale and took what I could not sell to the Goodwill. I still have plenty more to do and I am sure I will have plenty more to sell or donate. My goal is to be ready to move when and where we need to and start fresh and uncluttered in our new house, when ever and where ever that may be.

I took the boys to the Fresno Zoo this summer and was so surprised at how nice it was. It was cheap, quiet, shady and not crowded at all. The boys had a great time. I think the highlight of their day was getting to pet the sting rays. Dub was disappointed that their were no Rhinos, not because he wanted to see the Rhinos but because he wanted to see the ox pecker bird or the "tick bird" that sits on the rhinos back and eats the ticks. He told me all about them, even telling me they (the bird and rhino) have a symbiotic relationship. I told him that symbiotic was a great word and asked him if he could tell me what it meant. Of course he he looked at me like I was an idiot, huffed and rolled his eyes and then told me precisely what it meant. His brothers did not disappoint me with their knowledge either. Through out the day just dropping bits of information about animals and habitats that I had NO IDEA they knew anything about. My boys are pretty smart little cookies.

It's Better Than Reading Insurance Codes

Just a real quick break from my studies to share with you another funny thing Dub said a while ago that has been stuck in my mind today. We were driving down the highway behind a Pepto Bismol pink Ford Mustang. Out of the blue and very nonchalantly Dub says, "Stupid pink car. It's not even fast. It's not even a Chevy." I wish I had a dollar for every time my kids have made soda come out my nose, I would be in Hawaii right now. Okay, so probably not Hawaii because I don't fly and I don't go in or on the ocean so getting to Hawaii would be a bit of a challenge. But I definitely would not be subsisting on generic freezer pops and cramming for an insurance exam.

I just had a brilliant thought. I figured out why I use to be able to retain anything I studied so easily and why I am struggling so hard now. I have been blaming it on the fact that I have a husband and four boys demanding my attention, but I think it might be the lack of appropriate study food. When I was in high school I studied on chocolate donuts, Pepsi, and Cheese Puffs and I got great grades and didn't even try that hard. In college things got a little tighter and I studied on Diet Pepsi (had to avoid the freshman 15), Top Ramen and chocolate donuts and got mostly A's with out trying at all because I was also working and enjoying freedom responsibility. Now as an adult my diet consists of freezer pops fruits, french fries vegetables, and fake ice cream lean protein and I cannot remember anything I read. It must be because I am lacking some essential nutrients...SODA, SODIUM, and CHOCOLATE DONUTS!!! It's gotta be the diet.

I have a summer cold. I sneezed so hard I popped a rib out of place. I hurt. I took medication that I don't usually take because it makes me feel crazy. I almost threw up on Dubs feet last night trying to help him put on dry underwear because I took that medication. I don't remember going back to my room but I woke up there. I had wild dreams. I slept until 10 this morning. I woke up STARVING but NAUSEATED. I won't be taking that medication again. Anything that interferes with my ability to eat has to be bad. The end.

I Am Still Alive

Wowzers! Where to begin...

I got a job! I got temporarily laid off from said job!



Vootz turned 11! Vootz earned his arrow of light in scouts and crossed the bridge from cub scouts to boy scouts! He also left tonight for his first time at scout camp!

JC turned another year older!

I finished my term as PTC president! Schoooool's Out for Sum-mer (have fun getting that song out of your head)! The best principal EVER retired and moved to Minnesota and we all cried, still cry! This picture of her is unfortunately the only one I have and is of her in the dunk tank at the school carnival in October.



I am, for the first time in 14 years, taking a class and studying for a state exam! I quit ALL soda cold turkey 3 weeks ago! I finished re-hab for my knee, just in time for it to be too dangerously hot to run in the day light! I canned 10 pints of black beans, 10 quarts of pinto beans and 5 pints of apple butter! I weed-eated my entire back yard...again! This time sans dog/dog poo, frogs, goat heads and radio active spiders. I still have this ugly itchy rash on my shin! My boys still say the cutest things and I still forget to write them down before I forget them so I will write this one down now...Dub said, "Sometimes when I eat ice cream, it shivers the inside of my body!"



This picture was taken of Dub around Thanksgiving. They had a Native American Day at school and he said, "Today was Made Up American Day!" and then my diet Pepsi came out my nose.



This is my best friend! She is my running partner and she finished our 1/2 marathon with a much better time than I did! She has two kids. Her husband works out of town, A LOT and she just graduated from Cal State! I am so proud of her! My husband is home every night, I do my class (notice that says CLASS and not CLASSES) on line and I am a total basket case! I don't know how she did it.



This is my other best friend! She was my VP in the PTC and without her nothing would have gotten done and everything would have fallen apart! She worked her ever lovin' butt off and sadly enough didn't get near the credit she deserved! You know the saying behind every good man is a good woman? Well behind every President there is a Vice President who is doing all the work that everyone else thinks the president is doing. I DID NOTHING compared to what this woman did! Thanks Melody!

Rub still spends most of his time upside down and has no mastered the no hands head stand. He also still prefers to wear as little amount of clothing as possible. I came home from the store one day and found him like this....



He and Buzz and Dub had trouble sleeping last night because they have never slept without Vootz, hopefully Vootz slept well.



Buzz is getting ready to turn 9! He mastered walking on stilts. I like to listen to him crack himself up. He gives the best back rubs!

Okay, I have avoided studying long enough. Time to hit the books.

Lesson Learned?

Once upon a time a boy named Rub wanted hot chocolate, because his much older brother had some hot chocolate. Rub wanted to be much older too and do things much older boys can do. Like make his own hot chocolate. The much older brother, who was suppose to be "watching" his much younger brothers while his mother "caught up" on her work, did not seem concerned by this at all. Being much shorter than the much taller, much older brother, Rub could not reach the counter to pour the hot water into his mug from the boiling electric tea kettle. So Rub being part spider monkey climbed up the cupboards and onto the counter. Then Rub's mom, being buried under mountains of work in the office heard Rub screaming. Before she could climb out from under all her paperwork Rub appeared in the office with a big ol' sob story. Such a big ol' sobbin' sob story his mom had no idea what he was trying to say. So already being irritated with a whole days worth of tantrums and tattling she told him to quit crying and go play.
Ten minutes later the much older, much taller, much suddenly concerned brother carries the still sobbing Rub in and sets him down in front of the much stressed out mother and proceeds to pull up the shorts leg on the sobbing child. This is what the much stressed out, cold crow eating mother saw...



Steam Burn



Then the even more stressed out, feeling like a bad, overwhelmed, frustrated mother called her daddy the fireman for advice so she would not have to sit on hold with the after hours advice nurse forever. She called him on his cell phone, his house phone, his wife's cell phone, the mountain house phone, and the other mountain house phone. She stopped short of paging him and calling him at work and decided to call the nurse. Now the stressed out, overwhelmed, crow eating, frustrated mother has a degree believe it or not. Yup, an associates degree in medical science. BUT every child she had, took part of her brain and the part that is left doesn't function unless it has a steady stream of diet Pepsi and her I.V. had to be removed when she forgot to refill her heart medicine.

So after being on hold with the advice nurse that she use to work with and imagining her laughing at her mush for brains she came to the conclusion that the burn didn't quiiiiite take up 1/2 of his palm (How they measure what % of the body has been burned)and so he didn't need to be seen. So the momma cleaned it and dressed it and drugged up her kid with pain killer. Then she asked him, "Are you gonna climb on the counter any more?" and he said, "Not until you put that electric cattle burner thing in the trash." Then the momma had to laugh even though she was exhausted.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Yesterday the school called, It was Miss Barbara in the office.

Miss Barbara: Rub's in the office, he says his head hurts and he wants to go home.
Me: I will be there in a minute to evaluate the situation.

Rub: Mom, my heart hurts and I might feel like I am going to throw up.
Me: Well what is it, your head, your heart or your stomach?
Rub: My stomach hurts. Really mom, it does! And I am not hungry and I don't need to poop.
Me: Rub you are just fine. You need to go back to class. Besides, if you come home you will have to stay in bed. No t.v., no video games, no toys.
Rub: It's just I am hungry but I don't want to be hot lunch, I want a cold lunch. Me: You should have told me that this morning when we looked at the menu. It's too late now. Go to class.

Today I got another call from the school.

Miss Kim: Rub's in the office again. He says he has the flu and you thought he was better but he says he's not.
Me: Ugh! Let me talk to him.
Rub: Mom, I need to come home. My stomach hurts. Really it does mom! And I am not hungry and I don't need to poop and I didn't even eat any of my boogers.
Me: Rub that's disgusting. When did your tummy start hurting?
Rub: Remember when I threw up on my Baby Mouse book? (way back in JANUARY!) It feels like that.
Me: I will be there to get Dub in a minute, then we will talk.

Me: If you come home, you go to bed for the rest of the day. No t.v., no video games and no playing outside with everyone else.
Rub: Fine, I'll go back to class.

Have You Ever Seen My Sweet 16? Yeah, It's Like That. But Not Really.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday for the fifth time. It was AWESOME! The best birthday since my last 29th birthday. We partied hard. JC took me out and we had steak and shrimp. We had pizza, that I had to go pick up. We had my favorite angel food cake, that I had to make. We had a huge party at the club with a hundred guests and celebrities. My mother in law came to the house, that I had to clean. I got the keys to my brand new 6 bedroom dream house on 80 acres. My mother in law gave me some yummy cherry slice candies, that my boys ate all of this morning while I was working. We partied until the wee hours of the morning, dancing on the bars and painting the town red. I took a Benedryl and went to bed. We slept in this morning and I got breakfast in bed served to me by my dashing svelte husband and his rock hard abs. I rolled my butt out of bed at 6:30 to go clean a house, grabbed a diet Coke for breakfast while JC lay snoring and oblivious under the covers. Happy Birthday to me! I have no idea how we will ever be able to top this on my next 29th birthday.