Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Still Waiting on My Radioactive Super Powers

When I went to Santa Ynez for my Uncle Van's funeral in April I got bit by something on my left shin. Then I got a rash all over the front of my shin. After 8 weeks of itching and misery I finally gave up on the rash clearing up on its own and went to the doctor. I have also had a suspicious looking something on my neck for several weeks so I wanted the Doc to look at it too. He grabbed a pair of forceps and a scalpel and sliced off a nice chunk of the thing on my neck and dropped it into a specimen container.

Next he asked me the story about my leg. Then he lectured me for not coming in sooner. Mentioned antibiotics and that it might have been a tick bite and Lyme's disease blah blah I tuned out at this point because Lyme's disease is like a power switch to my brain, been there, done that and didn't even get a t-shirt for it. Then he stuck me with a needle and pumped my shin full of lidocaine. Then he took the deepest punch biopsy I have ever seen, slapped a band aid on me and gave me hug and told me he would call me with the results in two weeks. Oh and he was sending me to the dermatologist for a full skin cancer work up....tuning out blah blah...Can't hear you...blah blah blah...not listening. Then he said, how's your heart doing? I said, "Great, full of love. I have the best family and friends ever." Then he cocked his head to the side, gave it a shake and put his hands on his hips and said, "SIT!" and proceeded to look up my records from my last cardio visit. After a few Hmms, umms, uh-huhs and tisk tisks he said, "Did you have any pop today?"
I love that he calls it pop, it makes me smile. "Um, well you see I was up at 4 am this morning to go to Fresno and..."
Again, he shakes his head, "how much?"
"Well you see it was a long day and..."
"I can't have any dairy and I can't have any 'pop' so where is the joy? All my favorite food groups ripped away."
"You realize 'pop' and chocolate donuts are not food groups right?"
I smile, he knows me so well. I miss working with him. "No, but they should be."
He gives me another hug and tells me to behave, hands me a stack of stickers for the boys and disappears into the next room. I really have the bestest Doc EVER, except that he forgets I bleed like crazy and that band aids give me rashes, or maybe he just figured whats one rash on top of another.
His assistant came in and shook her head at me, I wanna say "WHAT!?" But I don't because I love her and she has gauze and adhesive free wrap in her hands. She takes off my band aids and cleans me up. We have a good laugh at how Doc treats us (his assistants past and present) like his own kids, and we both know how lucky we are to get to have him as our Doc.

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