Please quit being so difficult when it comes to learning how to read and write. Please quit trying to make your dad and I think you might flunk out of kindergarten. I know you are capable of way more than you let on. You have proven that by saying things like, "Mom, I need a drink of your diet Coke because all this running around has me parched." Come on "parched" really? What kind of five year old says parched? What kind of five year old who is leading his parents to believe he is not ready to go to school says "parched"? Also when you say, "Dub deliberately hit Buzz with the block." or when you say, "I absolutely do not want tomatoes (with the ah sound not the long A sound) on my cheeseburger." I especially find it funny that when you think I am not listening to you play in your room you can count to twenty three, but if I ask you to count you can't seem to get past twelve. I have seen your name drawn in the dust on my BBQ grill lid, I have seen it scratched on the fence, I have seen it written in mud on the side of the house, but when I ask you to write your name you look at me like I asked you to perform brain surgery. I am begging and pleading with you to please quit the games, or at least when you get to school show Miss Hughes what you are really capable of. Please don't flunk out of kindergarten just because you want to play mind games with mommy. Please. Thank you for your cooperation.
PS. If you flunk out of kindergarten they will not let you be a fireman.