Dear Rub

Dear Rub,

Please quit being so difficult when it comes to learning how to read and write. Please quit trying to make your dad and I think you might flunk out of kindergarten. I know you are capable of way more than you let on. You have proven that by saying things like, "Mom, I need a drink of your diet Coke because all this running around has me parched." Come on "parched" really? What kind of five year old says parched? What kind of five year old who is leading his parents to believe he is not ready to go to school says "parched"? Also when you say, "Dub deliberately hit Buzz with the block." or when you say, "I absolutely do not want tomatoes (with the ah sound not the long A sound) on my cheeseburger." I especially find it funny that when you think I am not listening to you play in your room you can count to twenty three, but if I ask you to count you can't seem to get past twelve. I have seen your name drawn in the dust on my BBQ grill lid, I have seen it scratched on the fence, I have seen it written in mud on the side of the house, but when I ask you to write your name you look at me like I asked you to perform brain surgery. I am begging and pleading with you to please quit the games, or at least when you get to school show Miss Hughes what you are really capable of. Please don't flunk out of kindergarten just because you want to play mind games with mommy. Please. Thank you for your cooperation.

Love,
Mommy

PS. If you flunk out of kindergarten they will not let you be a fireman.

Rub and Dub and The Fever

While waiting in the drive thru line at the bank...

Rub- Mom, why there's cameras all over da bank? Who put dem on da roof?

Me- To make sure people are safe and the builders put them up there.

Rub- No, No, No! You got it all wrong mom! It's in case da Ninjas come and teal da monies. Dats what da cameras are for.

Me- Oh, okay Rub for the Ninjas then.
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A conversation with Dub...

Dub- Moooommm! I said for you to give me some juice!

Me- Dub, I said NO. And you watch how you talk to me. You are not the boss, you don't tell me, you ask me.

Dub- You are not the boss mom, you don't tell me that. Dad's the boss.

Mom- Dub do you want to take a nap?

Dub- No, I didn't say a nap, I said juice.

Me - Irrrrr!
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Getting ready for church...

Rub- Dad, I don't want to wear dis tie.

JC- How come Rub, you look sharp.

Rub- No I don't, I wook widicuwous.
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Sitting in church...

Me- Honey isn't pink a great color?

JC- What?

Me- Pink, don't you think it is a great color, see *pointing to the most angelic little baby girl all swaddled in pink in her daddy's arms.*

JC- What are you talking about?

Me - I think we could use some pink in our house.

JC- Do you have something you are trying to tell me?

Me- Yes, I think we need to have a little girl with big blue eyes to stare up at her daddy with and chubby little cheeks and legs to squish on.

JC- Are you? *turning very white

Me- No, but wouldn't it be nice to have a little girl?

JC- I don't know how to make little girls remember?

Me- But if there was a way to be 100% sure....

JC- NO!

Me- Oh, come on just one little girl.

JC- Nope. I fell for that line 4 times already. No. Listen to the lesson

Me- I can't I am too distracted. Look how beautiful she is. Look at how sweet.

JC- *squeezing my finger* does this hurt?

Me- No why? What are you doing?

JC- Distracting you from your distraction.

Me- It's not working. I have the fever.

JC- Get over it. It's not happening...again.

I will break him. You just watch. *evil cackle*

Jeepers Creepers Where'd You Get Those Peepers...

I am sorry, it seems I never gave out the most vital piece of information regarding JC's visit to the E.R. The doctor was able to dig the metal out with a needle. His eye was numbed first of course. He prescribed some antibiotic drops and sent JC home with 20/20 vision. Slightly worse than his normal 20/15 vision that he is use to, but when the irritation subsides he should be back to normal. I don't know what is more sickening to me, the fact that they dug the metal out of his eye with a needle or that with an injured eye he still has better vision than me. After a very long night in the E.R. we arrived home shortly before 4am. I felt like a teenager sneaking in, trying not to wake up his mom. Not that I would know anything about sneaking in as a teenager or anything. Really.

I Like People, I Just Don't Like Stupid People!

Monday JC was grinding on some metal out at the ranch and a hot piece shot up, hit his cheek, bounced under his safety glasses and embedded itself in his eye. Only a Moncur would have that kind of luck I tell ya After many failed attempts at flushing it out we decide to call the doctor. Of course all this went down well after the doctor was closed for the day so the advice nurse tells us we need to go right away to the E.R. We weighed our options and decided his eyesight is pretty important to us so we probably should go before the metal worked its way deeper into his eye.

We call and woke up JC's mom to come sit with the boys and off we go.

We arrive at the very crowded E.R. and check in.

Here are a few things that irked the heck out of me observations...

1. More than half the people there did not really need to be there. Take some Nyquil, drink a lot of water and less beer and go to bed. You will feel better in three days. The Doctor cannot do anything for your cold so quit over crowding the E.R. just because you have a runny nose. After three days if you are still feeling crapy make an appointment with your primary doctor. Seriously, your runny nose is not an emergency!

2. Bring a translator/driver if necessary and leave the rest of the village at home. The waiting room only has so many chairs and your brother, sister, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, mother, father, wife, neighbor, aunt, uncle and drinking buddy are taking up chairs that the really sick or injured people would probably like to be able to sit in.

3. If your child is sick enough or injured enough to be in the E.R., they are sick enough or injured enough to sit their bum down in a chair and not be running all around and hanging over the back of my chair breathing their germs in my face.

4. The E.R. is a dirty, nasty, filthy, germy place. Why would you let your kid crawl around on the floor? I just sat on the very edge of my seat all night, touching as little as possible and I still felt like I needed to bathe in bleach when I got home. *shivers*

5. Whining to the security clerk every fifteen minutes is not going to get you seen any faster. Sit down and wait your turn like everyone else.

6. While pretending you can't breathe you probably shouldn't waste all your precious air by yelling across the room at the security guy about how you "really can't breathe, and need to see the doctor now!"

7. While pretending to pass out, because you could not breathe, you should keep your eyes closed. Opening them to peak to see if anyone is paying attention to your lying, narcotic seeking little bum is just going to piss off the nurse who had to walk herself into the waiting room to check on you. And most likely she will flag you as not urgent and you will get to sit there in the waiting room for the rest of the night.

8. Do not make out in the waiting room, it is not a hotel. Some people there are already throwing up. They don't need to see that.

9. Do not go stand two feet outside the automatic doors, in front of the NO SMOKING sign and smoke your cigarette, and then get pissed because you missed your turn. Some of us would like to not have to wade through your second hand smoke to get inside. Some of us would rather not smell like a stinky ash tray.

10. If you do insist on going to the E.R. for your cold. Bring some tissue with you. Don't wipe your nose on your hand and then touch the arm rest that separates our chair, and don't spit your sputum on the floor and then smear it with your boot.

11. The floor is not the trash can, Your legs and arms worked well enough to get you to the vending machine across the room, they will also work well enough to get you to the trash can three feet away.

*Note the "bad word" in the title. (Yes, Stupid is a "bad word" in our house.) I could not think of another word that worked in its place. Nothing quite seemed to sum it up as well as "Stupid".

Physical Adrenaline

Last week I took Rub to his get his kindergarten physical. To give Rub shots, we fold his arms across his chest and then I lay across his body, pinning his arms down. His legs dangle over the edge of the bed at the knee and the nurse lays her weight against his legs and gives him his shots in the thigh. When the nurse was giving him his shots he was screaming at the top of his lungs, "Stop! Please Stop! Please! Please don't do that!"

All I could say was at least he was polite about it. Then we had to go to the lab to have his blood drawn. I told the lab tech, "He is very strong, especially when he is upset, we will probably need some help to hold him."

She looked at me like I was kidding. After all, he is just five and she said, "Oh honey I do this every day. We will be fine." She had him sit on my lap, I knew from experience I needed to cross my leg over the top of his or the smug little tech was gonna get booted in the crotch. So I wrapped my legs around his and my arms held his free arm to his chest in a big hug. The tech pulled his wrist down to the table to look for a vein and he bicep curled it back up. So she held his arm down with two hands and again he curled her like it was nothin'. So little Miss 'I do this every day' decided she should go get Darlene to help us. So now we have me holding every limb but the arm they are using and Darlene and the other tech holding his arm down and he is still over powering the three of us. In comes tech number three. It took three lab techs and me to get his blood. He wasn't thrashing about. He wasn't squirming. He was just curling up his arm. I could not help but smirk a little at Miss 'I do this every day'.

And again he was screaming, "Please! Please take it out! Please stop! You're poking me! Please stop poking me with that pokey!" Strong and polite and now very upset he starts crying, "I want my Buzz. Please I wanna see Buzzy. Can we go get Buzzy now, pleeeaaase!"

I love it when my boys seek each other for comfort.

Spring Chicken

Just to dispel any rumors going around, yes, yesterday was my 25th birthday...again. My mother in law came by with my FAVORITE cake EVER! Angel Food cake with fresh strawberries and whip cream. It was TASTY! I did some banking, filled the gas tank in my car, thanked the heavens for smiling down on me when my Dr. cancelled my 10 O'clock appointment, because who wants to do their physical on their birthday anyway? Cleaned the house, soaked in the tub, nothing too exciting.

Things I am REALLY REALLY REALLY EXCITED about happening...

My sister, my niece and nephew are coming to visit for three days starting on Monday!

Twilight comes out on DVD sooooon!

I have a $100.00 gift card to spend shopping for myself all by myself!

My boys moving out and going to college, getting married and having kids just like them only worse!...Ope! Did I type that?

Randomness

I recently watched Fireproof, you know the movie with Kirk Cameron. The acting wasn't all that fabulous but the idea, the story, the message of the movie was fabulous. I highly recommend this movie. JC of course would not watch it with me because..."It's a sappy chick flick", and it kinda is. I cried a lot through the whole movie, but if you can trick bribe talk your husband into watching it with you I suggest that you do.

I have finally decided what my decorating style would be if I had the time, money and space to decorate my house. Check out Warm Pie, Happy Home I believe it is a vintage farm house look I like. Very warm, country kind of feeling to it. Speaking of houses, I am looking for a new one to rent. We need more space. Six of us smooshed into 1175 square feet of house is not working so well. The older two boys definitely need their own room separate from the little two destroyers angels. So if any of you happens across a 4 bedroom for rent let me know. I should shut up know because I am not as smooshed as my dear friend Karrie, over at Trailer Life is while they are building their home. Just a little longer Karrie...can you stand it?

Vootz got his new glasses today. His eyesight is worse than mine now. Pictures will be coming soon. He looks very handsome in them. Hopefully they last longer than his last pair. He was amazed to be able to see things today that he has not been able to see for a very long time, like skid marks on the street, true boy.

I am going to make an attempt to be more organized, starting in the boys room. Our storage is very limited so any ideas as to how I can tame my house is greatly appreciated.

We are preparing the back yard for a vegetable garden! I am very excited, it has been about 7 years since our last garden. I will be very busy canning this summer! I can't wait for the tomatoes and corn! MMM!

I am also looking to learn how to bake in a dutch oven over coals. I have always wanted to learn and I am finally going to do it. Now I just need to acquire the dutch oven. My first project will of course be cinnamon rolls! I will have to have some taste testers anyone interested? I wonder, is it legal to have a campfire in your back yard? Not a monstrous bonfire one just a small cooking one. Probably not. In a town where you cannot even have a fire in your fireplace I'm pretty sure one in your yard would be frowned upon. Looks like I will be taking a trip to Dad's for that one.

Well I'm off to the kitchen to bake some bread.

Umm...Yeah after I pick up my kids from school. I forgot it is a minimum day. I am surprised the school hasn't called yet. Better git gone!

Best News Of The Week!

Coming at you live from my very own desk, on my very own super fast computer, weighing in at...well lets not go there, but you get the idea! My computer is fixed! Thank you JC! Thank you Ed! Thank you Brina for the time Ed was fixing my computer and ignoring your honey do list! Now that my computer is back hopefully I will be around more regular now, but for the next couple of days I have a lot of downloading to do, drivers and stuff so I will not be posting anything else until I am finished with that. See ya soon!