Mom, MD

Monday morning I called the doctor to make appointments for the boys to be seen for their sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fevers and sore throats. I know you just said, "so you can rest medicine" didn't you? And an appointment for me to see my doctor about my crazy heart. I would not normally take them in for these symptoms but my mommy intuition said this is more than just colds. I was sure Vootz had a sinus infection, Dub had an ear infection and I was fairly positive the other two had pneumonia...again. The appointment nurse took all the names and id numbers for my kids and all their symptoms and said, "For the boys, I have one appointment at 1:00 today, an appointment at 2:00 and 2:45 tomorrow and an appointment at 9:00 on Friday. Who would you like seen first?"

First thought, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!! You want me to 1. Expose my family to the germy waiting room three different times, so they have three times the likelihood of coming home with more than we arrived with. and 2. You want me to pick which miserable child gets to feel better soonest. No! No! No!

Second thought, Don't argue with appointment lady it will get you put on hold indefinitely. "Umm, how about scheduling Buzz for 1:00 today and I will just have Dr. S see the others while we are there, because he will, because he is a good man, and I hate pulling the psycho mom who makes the medical assistants day a nightmare routine but so help me I will if I have to! take the others to the urgent care."

"Okay mam, now for you I have a 1:00 today."

"Ummm, that's kinda not gonna work if the Buzz is being seen at 1:00"

"You're not bringing someone with you to help?"

"Nooo."

"Oh, well can you bring someone with you?"

"Nooo."

"Oh, okay. Well how about at 2:00 then?"

"Great."

Dr. S saw all the boys, just like I knew he would. Vootz has a sinus infection. Dub has an ear infection, and the other two have pneumonia. Three hours and $50 in co-pays later I left knowing exactly what I knew when I got there. Except I had to have someone with MD behind his name say that so I could get the $120 worth of prescriptions and a referral.