The Cave Man and The Snail!

For those of you who don't know about Rubby let me give you a little back ground. The boy is our "cave man". He is not a clear speaker, he is not into learning (unless it's about fire trucks), he is super sneaky, he is a rough and tumble, sit in the dirt, run nekked and grunt kinda kid. He is as tall as Buzz and out weighs him by about 8 pounds. He is not at all fat, he is just a really solid kid. He has a football player kind of build. He is polar opposite of our other boys. Now with that said he is also the most compassionate, sweet, baby and animal loving, cuddley kid I have ever seen. As soon as a baby or animal is in site he wants to hold it, snuggle it, love it, baby talk to it. He makes friends with snails, insects, birds...The boys is just plain sweet.

While doing yard work the other day he started crying because Vootz smashed a snail. He started collecting them and moving them to a safer place. He named them and was holding conversations with them. I convinced him the safe place would be the yard waste can. They would have plenty to eat and Vootz could not smash them. So he started putting them in the can. When it was time to go inside for the night he had a hard time saying good bye to one particular snail he called, Snaily. (real original I know.) So I convinced him he could go out and check on "Snaily" in the morning and he seemed cool with that, so in we went. I knew the yard waste can was going to be dumped in the morning and snaily would be mulch in someones front yard eventually. I was hoping he would forget about "Snaily" by morning, after all Mighty Monster Trucks would be on TV to distract him.

There is the back ground, here is the story....

This morning, Vootz informs me there is a snail in the house! A snail on my new plant! The one that I have been yelling at the boys about since Tuesday because someone keeps tearing up the leaves! MMM-Hmmm!
Rub says all nonchallant, "Oh, it jus Snaily mom. He wuv too cared to be outfide, I bringed him infide an he dint eben hab to go in da garbage twuck wif hivs brudders!" (Translation: Oh, it's just Snaily mom. He was too scared to be outside, I brought inside and he didn't even have to go in the garbage truck with his brothers)

I plucked "Snaily" off my plant, and here is the part where I traumatized my 4y/o, and chucked him out the door onto the side walk.

Rubby starts heading out the door and sobbing, "That not nice! Don't hurt him, he my fwend! You a meany! You not my Boo anymore!

These are real tears here people! I was cracking up and almost crying for him at the same time. What am I suppose to do? It's a snail! But it's my kids "fwend" who he feels so deeply for. So I go out and pick up the snail, set him on a tree branch and make Rub swear to keep "Snaily" outside from now on and now I am once again Rubby's Boo. 1..2..3..AWWWW! I know you were thinking it! :)

I'm Baaack!

Woot Woot!! I am back up and running! Thank you to my husband and brother in law!

I had a million ideas to blog while I was down and now I cannot remember one of them! I should have written them down! Some funny things being said here in Casa de Moncur lately, here's a taste...

Dubby- "Actuwawy, dat's his fishing dad." (Translation, Actually that is his fishing dad.) Telling JC that Mater's tow hook is actually a fishing hook, after JC called it a tow hook. I can't believe my two year old is saying actually!

"I going at Heaver's!" Dubby telling me and JC he is going next door (to the sweetest neighbor ever) after getting in trouble. He says it with the dejected pout and everything, it is really quite pathetic. He really does walk out the door and go to her house!

"You hear dat mom? Wha ist? Is Gweg! He home! Les go see him! Hi Gweg, I come see you!" Dubby getting excited that Greg (Totally cool husband to the totally sweetest neighbor ever) is home from work! This happens every day!

Dubby- "He's bite me!"
JC-"Sadie is not a he, she's a girl, and she did not bite you she licked you!"
Rubby-"She's not a girl, she's a cat!" (Duh dad! Cat's can't be girls, they are cats! LOL!)

Dubby unable to pee- "Is doesn't work!"

Rub holding up the pair of shorts I got out for him to wear- "These don't fit, the sleeves are too short!"

Dubby two seconds ago, making lame excuses for being out of bed, said with a smile and tone of happy excitement- "I gun frow up!"
Me- "You are not going to throw up! Get to bed!
Dubby-"I gun hab hicsops!"
Me-"No you're not going to have hiccups! Go to bed!"
Dubby-" I gun sleep the carpet, Dads office!" (I'm going to sleep on the floor in Dad's office)
Me -"ONE....TWO....
Dubby-" Okaaayy Okaay! Geesh Louish!"
IRRRRR!!!! and Goodnight!

Boyz II ....um Bigger Boyz!

I was blog surfing earlier and read BD's blog here and it made me think about Vootz. I was helping him after his bath the other night, after our skating adventure, because he was so sore. I was drying him off and noticed a black spot under his arm. I lifted up his arm (which caused shrill screams of ahhouch I am soooorrre!) and kinda scratched at the spot to see what it was, thinking maybe it was just a little piece of towel lint or something. Nope! Out pops a long, dark underarm hair! My almost 8 y/o had an ingrown underarm hair that could have easily put a grown man to shame! I almost fell over! Holy Cow! I dropped his arm, raised it again, dropped it and raised the other one! (By this time he is wailing about how he would dry himself off now, I was making it worse!) He's always been a hairy kid. He has hair on his legs and arms so thick and long I can almost braid it! I just was not prepared for my little boy to have underarm hair! We always joked that JC is going to have to teach him how to shave at 12 because he is so hairy but I was so unprepared for underarm hair! Speaking of hair...I think that I may have sprouted a few more gray hairs that night.

Oh and Buzz informed JC and I the other night that he and Vootz are growing mustaches! They are having a contest to see who can grow the best one.
Buzz- "Vootzskies is going to be dark fur like daddoos, and I am going to have light fur like Uncle Boom's! Can you see the hair mom? See it Daddoo? Cool huh?"
Me and JC in unison, while shooting each other the 'what the heck' look - "Uh-huh cool Buzz!"
So my 5 y/o and my almost 8 y/o have about done me in with their body/facial hairiness this last couple weeks. I All I can say is "Good Gravy! What was he thinking sending me boys! The good man upstairs must really have a sense of humor! Girls, bras, periods I can handle...boys and their issues, not so much!

My Computer is Sick!

My computer has a Fatal Error! My computer has a Trojan Horse! My computer has a Virus! Git Diggit! Anyway, I am stuck with my boys' computer which is incredibly SLOW and very hard for me to type on because the keyboard is normal. My keyboard is NOT normal it is a Zboard, a gaming keyboard that is a friend of the families that use to come game with JC. He has not been around in awhile due to trying to build a house for his family so the six of them can hopefully soon move out of their 5th wheel trailer! Anyhoo, he uses my computer when he does come and so he just leaves his keyboard hooked up, which at first sucked because I was use to the normal keyboard, but I have been using his for so long that normal is just a pain for me. But I am off topic here. My point is I will be hit and miss for awhile until JC wipes my hard drive and reconfigures it. This computer sucks and it is very unlikely that JC will be kind enough to share his with me because his computer is *using a deep authoritative voice* "strictly for gaming!" So pardon me please for my lack of post for the next week or so. I will do my best not to be too absent.

Just for laughs for today...
Rub nekked and huddling in the hallway after his bath- "Hurry mom I'm frozing salad!"
Rub looking at his legs-"Look mom I got fur just like dad!"

Me to Dub after a waft of stink drifted passed my nose- "Dub do you have poop?"
Dub-"Nope jus gots toots!"

Reasons I Love My Big Brother!

1. For not being mad at me for dating your friends but making sure they treated me well.

2. For trying to keep away the boys you knew would get me into trouble or break my heart.

3. Always protecting me and standing up for me even if it meant getting yourself suspended.

4. For listening to me and loving me even when I was making bad choices that you weren't happy about.

5. For teaching me about spark plugs the hard way, a lesson I have never forgotten! (never be dumb enough to hold the spark plug because your big brother tells you that's how to start the lawn mower!)

6. For teaching me the hard way that metal conducts electricity, a lesson I have never forgotten. (electric fences will still shock you through a quarter.)

7. For taking me to high school orientation even though it wasn't cool to be seen with your little sister, because you knew it would be far less cool for me to be seen with mom!

8. For all the practice I got wrapping presents because you had me wrap all your Christmas presents for everyone including my own!

9. For the Happy 16th Birthday note you scribbled out on a corner of torn up binder paper and left on my desk, that showed you remembered and loved me. P.s. I still have it!

10. For giving me a beautiful sister in law and precious niece who I love so much!

11. For being the BEST UNCLE EVER to my boys!

12. For being you!

Happy Birthday! I Love you!

Mr. Kirby Had His Cake and Now His Sprinkles Too!

Last night was cake mix, tonight was sprinkles! Not just any sprinkles, noooo they had to be the little teeny tiny balls that roll everywhere when you try to sweep them up. I had to use the vacuum, again. This time, I had to take the vacuum apart and put on the hard floor attatchment. I tried to just use the regular head and the sprinkles sucked right through and flew out the back. It felt like a million little teeny beebees pelting my legs and feet. He had the ENTIRE bottle empty on the kitchen floor! I know you are wondering why no one was watching him so let me just tell you. I just took him out of the bathtub, I told him to go lay down in the hall (we keep the diapers in the hall closet), I dried off Rub and went to put their diapers on for bed and there was Rub but no Dub! I diaper Rub while calling for Dub to come lay down.
Dub-I put this way firts mommy!
Me- Put what away first Dub?
Dub-I put this shake shake way firts!
Me thinking to myself- Shake shake? What the heck is he talking about?
I walk into the kitchen and he is jumping up and down, shaking the sprinkles bottle with the lid off, sprinkles flying everywhere and singing..."shake, shake yo moccas!"
Me- What are you doing?!
Dub- I shake my moccas
Me-No, No you are not shaking your moraccas! You are shaking sprinkles all over the floor! Go lay down so I can put your diaper and jammies on NOW!
Dub-I frow this way firts mommy, is all gone!
Me- Ya think! Irrrr!

Good News is ...my house smells like spice cake again. Bad News...I have a toddler with an obvious fascination for the pantry!

Nekked and Habbin' Cake!

I went grocery shopping this afternoon. I put Dub down for a nap and plopped Buzz and Rub in front of a movie and said be good for dad and stay out of trouble. JC was cleaning up his desk in the office. I picked Vootz up from school and headed to the store.

I LOVE to go grocery shopping, ALONE! I like to stroll up and down the isles and look at all the different foods, compare prices, enjoy not being hung all over, enjoy not hearing "mommmmm!" every two minutes, smile a knowing smile at the poor lady who's kid is throwing a major tantrum in the cereal isle. Grocery time is my time. When I have to take a kid, or heaven help me more than one kid, to the store with me it totally ruins it for me. I then, have to be the poor lady who is getting the knowing smile from other alone mothers. Today was not much different. Vootz is old enough to know better than to throw a tantrum but he still pulls things off the shelf and begs for them, still walks around unaware and backwards and is on and off the cart making it impossible to push straight. He tries very hard to be helpful to me and bag the groceries, but I am very anal about how I bag my groceries, so that just makes me frustrated. Then I had to try to fit all my groceries, my son and myself in the front of the truck with out smashing any smashables. Anyway long story short, by the time we got home I was just plain tired! Too tired for what transpires next.

When I walked through the front door I see the child, who was suppose to be napping, has snuck out of his bed and helped himself to something, though at the time I wasn't quite sure what it was. I get a little closer and he says all sweet, innocent and proud of himself...
"I'n habbing cake mommy."

Oh Crap! He has gotten into the pantry, pulled down a box of spice cake mix that I was going to use to make these cookies, he has opened the box and put it goodness knows where and opened the bag right down the center. Now here he sits in a pile of cake mix on my carpeted dining room (What kind of crazy men people carpet an every day dining room? That is a whole other rant there!)He is shoving handfuls of dry cake mix into his mouth and loving it. (I should have snapped a picture, because it is really something that you should have seen!) I scooped him up, swatted his backside, washed off his hands and face amidst cries of, "I was habbing cake! I'n hungwee!" and sent him to his dad who had no clue he was even awake. My kids are sneaky like that. I vacuumed up the mess and went to throw away the bag and what do I see in the trash can? The box, the kid amazes me, he actually is still good when he is being bad. He always throws his trash away! Good boy Dub!

Now I notice that Rub is nekked, as usual.
Me- "Rub, why are you nekked?"
Rub-"My cwoves was making me hot and fwetty so I frowed em in the waundry!"
Me-"Fine, but at least put your underwear on! We don't walk around nekked!"
And do you think his clothes were in the laundry? No, no they weren't. They were in the bathroom trash can! Which seems to be mistaken for the laundry basket and the laundry basket for the trash can by both Dub and Rub on a regular basis.

I am feeling the grey hair sprout out of my head and my little crease in my forehead is quickly becoming a canyon! Good news though, I vacuumed the rest of my house and now it smells like spice cake and I did not even have to bake anything. Bad news, the smell is making me REALLY hungry and I have No spice cake mix to bake with!