Really, Is It Too Much To Ask?

I told you that I don't have anything nice to say and I am not going to sugar coat it. I have a bone to pick with someone or multiple some ones!  Listen up people this is a serious pet peeve and we are going to shed some light on it!

Thirst is a major issue for me.  If I am thirsty, I cannot focus on anything!  Thirst is an all consuming thought.  Ever want to slowly torture me, that's the way to do it.  Just let me be thirsty.  The problem is I am always thirsty.  When we go out to eat, even my boss knows to tell the waiter to leave the water pitcher on the table.  The next problem is that I have the worlds smallest bladder.  The third problem is I am an obsessive a bit of a germaphobe, which brings me to my pet peeve.

I have probably visited most of the public restrooms in this town at least once. I know I should not expect much from a public restroom, and honestly I don't.  All I ask is that they have toilet paper, soap, water and A FREAKING HOOK TO HANG MY PURSE, SHOPPING BAGS AND JACKET ON!! I don't even care if I have to squat over the toilet because there aren't seat covers, and you know what, I even have Kleenex in my purse so I don't even care if you have sandpaper  toilet paper, but is it too much to ask that you hang a 3M hook on the door?

I started keeping track of this last month on our 5 State Public Bathroom Tour, otherwise known as The 12 Moncur, 3 Car Caravan Trip to Idaho.  Then I had to go to the Doctor, which just solidified my pet peeve.  The Doctor's office you would think would have a pretty nice, clean, user friendly bathroom right? No. Of course not. That would make too much sense.  Here, go give us a urine sample, by the way we don't believe in doing routine bathroom checks to make sure they are clean and well stocked so don't be surprised to find pee on the floor, no seat covers, no toilet paper and no working faucet (that is a whole new post).  BUT you know what you won't find?....A HOOK TO HANG YOUR STUFF ON!  So go ahead and hold your purse while you try to pull up your skirt, pull down your pantyhose, holding a pee cup and all while you are wearing 4" heels and squatting over our ridiculously dirty toilet and trying to avoid stepping in the pee puddles left by the last person who was probably trying to attempt the same maneuver. 

So I really started paying attention to how many bathrooms are "user friendly", and you know what?  The answer is NOT MANY!  So listen up public restroom owners!  All restrooms should have these basic amenities...#1 a hook or table to place belongings #2 soap #3 water.  Bonus amenities: toilet paper, seat covers and paper towels! 

Just sayin'.

My Name Isn't Willy Wonka

Hello!  Guess what?  I am back!  I took a very long hiatus, thinking I really didn't have much to say that was all that interesting or if I had to say something it probably wasn't very nice and shouldn't be said.  Well guess what?  I still don't have anything to say that is all that interesting or nice, but I'm gonna say it anyway, because it's never stopped me before!  I don't know why I got all "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" on you.  It's not like I grew a conscious all of a sudden. I think Facebook sucked out a lot of my desire to write, with constant status updates ya'll already know in a nutshell what my day was and I didn't think it needed repeating again by being blogged.  Facebook was like the Cliff Notes version of my blog.  But I was standing in the shower tonight thinking about a lot of things I'd like to say and trying to condense them into the Facebook appropriate version and length and I just couldn't do it!  I refuse to shorten my thoughts and shut off my sarcasm any longer.  I refuse to sugarcoat crap, I am not Willy Wonka!  If you want chocolate covered BS, look elsewhere because you won't find it here!  BS maybe, but not chocolate coated. 

That being said, Let me just say THANK YOU to all of you who kept checking back or who are checking in for the first time!  I logged on today and saw that I had 165 page views yesterday alone?!?!? WOW!  That's I don't know...Awesome!?  I am not sure how that happens when I haven't been on in so long that I couldn't even remember my password.  Welcome to my Blog, stick around, comment, make yourself comfy but please keep your comments clean and don't spam me with crap!

Dusting Off The Cobwebs

Hello...Hellooo...ellooo...looo...ooo!!! Echo...Echooo...choo...oo!!! I am Ba-ack! After a little over a year of a blog break. I am back! I will not be posting daily but my goal is to at least post once a week. I didn't take a break because my boys quit being funny, or life quit happening, or I became Amish, I just couldn't figure out how to balance working full time and being, mommy, wife, Relief Society counselor, maid, cook, scout taxi....While "we were on a break" (I know you just had a FRIENDS flashback) I thought many times, "Oh, I should blog that!" but then I would go on with my day and by the time kids were tucked in I was tuckered out! JC and I were having a talk about finding joy in our lives and finding what activities we enjoy doing because life has fallen into a very predictable, very boring rhythm of sleep, eat, work, eat, work, nag boys, eat, repeat and I was feeling trapped and frustrated and I was taking it out on JC. JC asked what I really enjoy doing, while I was thinking on it a few things came to mind. First was that I enjoy eating cooking, but not the 30 pounds I have gained. Second I enjoy running, but not the sore knees. I enjoy reading, and I have been doing a lot of it but still feel no relief from the frustration. The more I thought on it the more I realized I needed to write, I enjoy writing. I have an outlet for my sarcasm, I have a record to be used as blackmail, I have a record to look back on when I miss the little boys that are quick becoming little men, I have an excuse to be crammed into our tiny little, hot, stinky office with my four boys and my man who continues to startle me every time he randomly screams at his computer, did I mention it stinks in here? (Note to self, figure out how to blog from your phone, and remember to be thankful for WiFi)  I know I may have lost a lot of readers over the last year I hope you all find your way back.  I will try not to be a flake blogger anymore. I feel like I should say, Forgive me blog world for I have sinned, it's been 13months since my last blog. 

Seriously, someone find some air freshener!

Some funny things that have been said that I actually wrote down to blog but never did...

Rub:  It's hot in here!
Me: That's because you're so cute.
Rub: Not that kind of hot.  I mean sweaty hot.
Me:  What other kind of hot is there?
Rub:  The kind where you do this, *puts one hand on his hip and the other behind his head and winks*
Oh my!

At Christmas time...
Rub:  Mom I want a baby sister for Christmas.
Me:  Really?  Is that what you are going to ask Santa for?
Rub:  Yeah, or maybe we could just go to the orphanage and see what we can pick up.

On our way to church...
Rub:  That truck is going slower than a snail.
Dub:  Uh Rub, it's a Ford.

See you next week!  Same time, same place!

If You Give A Man A Fish

While driving home from school on Friday Dub was upset that he could not find the quarter he left in his booster seat that morning. Rub said, " I gave it to a poor man who has nothing. No home. No family. No food. No job.

Warren said, "Well then he needs to get a job and get his own quarter."

Who's The Adult?

While I was at work Vootz left me this voicemail. "Hi mom, it's me. I'm just letting you know that you need to go to the store and pick up Clorox wipes, toilet bowl cleaner, we are really, really extremely low on Windex, maybe get some breakfast, cereal, waffles, we need carrots, milk and bread and maybe some lunch meat would be a good idea. Okay. Bye.

So I went to the store on my way home. I came home with two cheese pizzas, 1/2 gallon of vanilla ice cream, 1/2 gallon of Old Savannah Caramel ice cream, 1 pound bag of M&M's, package of Oreos, box of brownie mix, Hershey's syrup, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream and a pair of generic Spanx.

Don't judge me.

The Measure of a Man

The boys are very excited to be "growing up" and turning into young men. It is happening much faster than I would like. They are continually examining themselves for more hair, more muscle, more manliness. Vootz in particular is pretty impressed with his height of five feet-two inches. He takes great pleasure in being taller than his aunt who stands four feet-eleven inches four feet-eleven AND one half inches. The other day I heard Buzz exclaim, "Dude! You're almost a man! Look! You're almost as tall as the laundry!" I am not sure what is more depressing, that Vootz is five feet-two inches tall or that my laundry is taller.

Ch Ch Ch Changes

This has been one of the longest weeks of my life! I have had a BIG secret to keep all week long. Every time someone would ask me how I am doing I would have to dance around my answer. Tears would well up, I would want to say I was okay, but was that really the truth? I was humbled, nervous, overwhelmed...but was I okay? I was moved to tears at the drop of a hat. I was dying while quietly listening to others speculations, when I knew the truth.

After several years of functioning beyond capacity our ward at church, along with another ward split to form a third ward. This happened two weeks ago. Last week just before conference started I got a phone call asking if JC and I would come in after conference to meet with the Bishopric. I had been teaching the six year olds and JC had been teaching the thirteen year olds. I knew that one or both of us would be receiving new callings. First they talked to JC. As soon as they asked him how his class was going I knew the reason we were there was not for JC, but for me. Then Brother Keller extended me my new calling and I was so overwhelmingly humbled that all I could do was cry. Eventually I was able to choke out an answer to him and he followed with good, don't tell anyone until after you are sustained next Sunday. YIKES! That is a BIG secret! I am a great secret keeper when it comes to other peoples lives, but my life I have to be able to talk about, get advice, reassurance. Have people understand that when I randomly start crying that I am not insane, just overwhelmed, and not in a billion things to do, don't know where to start kinda way. In a this is so humbling, are you sure you got the right sister Moncur, this is a lot of responsibility and I am not that responsible, what were they thinking kinda way. But I did it. I survived an entire week, I was sustained and set apart today and about two seconds ago given my first Sacrament Meeting speaking assignment not just as the second counselor in the Relief Society, but EVER. Now I have a talk to prepare so I need to quit rambling and get busy.